Does it Matter?

 Does it Matter? 

Does it matter that I drop everything when you can make time for me? 

Because it doesn’t matter who I am around or what I am doing; with you is always where I would rather be. 

 

Does it matter that you are the only person who ever completely quieted my mind, allowing me to focus on you and our time together? 

Something I never thought I would find, a peaceful feeling I have been searching for forever. 

 

Does it matter that I miss you and I miss hearing from you every day? 

For some reason you seem content not talking regularly and do not mind keeping it this way. 

 

Does it matter that my insecurities get the best of me, but I keep them to myself, afraid to push you away? 

Instead crying alone in my room, afraid if I say anything to you, you will not stay. 

 

Does it matter that our time together is the reassurance I count on and look forward to? 

The longer we go without seeing each other makes it harder it is to keep the self-doubt from rising and telling me I do not deserve and am losing you. 

 

Does it matter that I do not feel important when I know you have been online but did not check your messages from me? 

I will not say anything of course, just bite my tongue; not knowing how long it will be, waiting to see. 

 

Does it matter that it bothers me a little that you never call? 

Hearing your voice more would be amazing, making me feel like I am not alone in this fall! 

 

Does it matter that you can count on me no matter where I am at or what I am doing but I cannot say you would even answer if I needed you? 

I know this connection is real, that there is something between us for sure; but it sometimes feels like I am fighting an uphill battle when you pull away like you do! 

 

-Angela Stull