Damaged
Damaged, that’s one way to look at it; I haven't had it easy that's for sure.
Life it seems has been out to get me from beginning; given a life where I’ve been mentally, emotionally and physically abused.
Sometimes it feels like I was born in a fairytale, hated by the evil witch and put under a curse with no cure.
Destined to live in a world where most people come into my life needing something from me; I can’t even count how many times I’ve been used!
So, damaged is a pretty good description, I would say battered and bruised fit too.
I’ve had my heart broken, suffered unmeasurably at the hands of others and survived unimaginable loss.
I have grown used to people walking in and out of my life like it has a revolving door, some causing me to cry a tear or two.
Causing me to get used to being on my own, doing everything myself, a lonely existence, because involving others seems to be a crap shoot toss!
Damaged might even be an understatement when it comes to describing my heart and my mind with the like I have been given to live.
People I should be able to count on, turning their backs on me when I need them most or screwing me over to add insult to injury.
I try my damndest to be a good person, to do the right thing; but it never matters, no one seems to give a shit how much of myself I give.
Taking what they want or need from me then poof they’re gone; leaving wondering why they split in such a hurry!
Yeah, damaged fits well; so much love to give, just wanting to be someone’s person, a possibility of forever.
But no; they come, they take, and they leave; no one sees me as more than temporary, nobody stays.
Down the road I may reconnect with some if our paths cross; many end up missing my good heart, caring nature and empathetic vibe... whatever.
I have a lot to give to someone that can see a future with me, someone that could see me by their side; always!
Hoping someone someday might be able to love me enough to stay; despite me being damaged!
-Angela Stull
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