Four Days

Four Days 

I spent four days alone with my thoughts, thinking, dissecting, and reflecting. 

A painful process; lonely, depressing, frustrating and liberating all wrapped up in a messy little package. 

Four days on a solo camping trip, forcing me to face the chaos in my mind; organize it and strategize how to rid my life of the negativity my brain has been detecting. 

Nature therapy easing the strain of reality, helping me to focus on how to improve rather than on the hurt and rage! 

 

With hour days of solitude to straighten out the emotional and mental files, getting a grasp on the chaos within. 

Separating delusion from reality, truth possibility from wishful thinking. 

Using the peaceful four days to shift through the emotional pit of memories and thoughts, feeling each as it passed, lingering on the more pleasant, wondering where they have been. 

Forcing myself to accept the painful truths I have been avoiding, refusing to see; that had me sinking. 

 

It took four days of talking things out with the animals and trees, to accept the situation and prepare to go toe to toe with toe with my fears. 

Still unable to break a promise I made, but unwilling to accept mistreatment that has thus far come with it. 

Only four days was needed though more would have been nice; for when one is alone with their thoughts and feelings, the fog usually clears. 

Allowing for acceptance, closure, and clarity to replace the denial, need to hold on, and dreams; leaving only the real shit! 

 

-Angela Stull