Fire

Fire 

I am reminded of a nightmare I had repeatedly as a child, one that haunted me for years. 

Stuck in a room that is on fire, my dad trying to get to me, to save me. 

Looking back, my life has been a lot like that dream; all the bad, like the fire, trying to burn me alive; leaving me screaming through my tears. 

Only in reality, even my dad is not trying to save me; in fact, he has abandoned me too; I am pretty sure someone set fire to my family tree! 

 

Left to face the fire alone, struggling to keep my skin from being singed by the flames that are constantly there. 

Steadily growing hotter and threatening to engulf me if I let down my guard. 

Like someone is throwing gasoline on it, feeding the flames; maybe hoping I will lose the fight, if I did, would anyone even care? 

Well, if you hope I fail, that is on you because I am not going to give up, I have fought way too long and too hard. 

 

I will keep the fire at bay, I will not succumb to the flames, and I will thrive on the pain. 

The pain has been my constant companion, a feeling I am familiar with all too well. 

I no longer fear the fire or the hurt it brings; after all, it is all I have ever known, never going out, even in the rain. 

I take comfort in knowing the flames i battle will never abandon me like everyone else does, knowing the fire is there means I am still alive, even when I am going through hell! 

 

-Angela Stull